The inexplicable moments in time that healed me
“Are you inside or outside?”
I tried to see around me, but it was too dark to detect anything. “I don’t know.” Maybe I wasn’t there yet; perhaps I was nowhere at all.
“How do you feel?”
“Comfortable.” I was surprised to hear my response when I didn’t even know where I was.
“Is anyone with you?”
“I don’t… Yes? No?” This had now begun to feel like the “me” I knew, with my sidekick trepidation just a step behind.
“How old are you?”
Panic. “I don’t think I have an age.”
Fated or free to be?
Free will. The very gift God is said to have given us became the damnation of our souls. Adam and Eve were the first to experience this curse wrapped in fruity gift paper. Why did God enable their path to destruction? Why insist they had a choice when He knew what they would choose? Why did He set them up to fail? I’ve wanted to know all my life.
Perhaps it was because we weren’t free, or rather, we were free to choose but never free from the consequences of our choices. However, I hadn’t…
I found a piece of me in the public bathroom spaces of my unconscious mind
I enter a public bathroom. The stalls are connected haphazardly, with no regard for privacy or efficiency. Some stalls have three doors of access that don’t all lock on the inside, leaving conspicuous room for blunders and mischief. Others are on ledges overlooking the rest, with a mysterious bird’s eye view of the most intimate parts of the body. Several walls are too short while the doors of perfects stalls, painstakingly found, don’t have locks. Every possibility is tainted with an Alice-in-Wonderland uneasiness or ruin…
Freedom: The Crucial Frontier of Continual Self-actualisation
I just danced like no one was watching because, well, no one was. My son is chatting with friends about how they can’t wait for school to be over and the holidays to begin. My fiancé is tucked away in our studio working on the music we love to create. Tales and songs from them bleed into the room I’m in, the very one I just danced like crazy in because neither of them could see me.
Don’t get me wrong — I can most certainly act a fool in front of them…
Here’s one possible reason why.
If the reason someone likes or loves you is in any way connected to them not knowing who you are or how you see the world, then I want to offer this hypothesis: no matter how much they claim to love you, you will never feel truly loved.
I spent the vast majority of my past relationships exposing only slivers of my core. I was extremely upfront when it came to my value systems and ethical beliefs, but I never fully revealed my vast range of dreams and aspirations. Maybe one ex aside, I didn’t…
Do any of these excuses sound familiar when you were faced with the choice to explore something that baited your curiosity?
“There are so many people doing that already! I don’t want to enter a saturated field.”
“If I do that, Jane Doe will think I’m imitating her path or stepping on her toes. Either way, I want to do something truly original! Or at least appear to…”
“I’d be starting from ground zero, and everyone else is so far ahead. Plus, all the cool ideas are probably taken anyway.”
Yes? Or perhaps something similar? If so, then hi! I’m…
The elusive ways the purest freedoms are stolen
Of all the beautiful things about Jay’s childhood, her boldness, bravery, and, at times, complete fearlessness remained among the most precious things to love. She was the tomboy who scaled the tallest trees, banged leftover plywood into a doghouse — a consolation prize, as it was meant to be a treehouse — and not only kept baby lizards as (unwilling) pets but also once proudly brought a toad into the kitchen to show her mother. The screaming and yelling that followed were Jay’s first understanding that perhaps not all creatures were as…
What I didn’t feel in the face of injustice mattered
It took me thirteen years to openly say, “I’m a survivor.” The physical abuse I endured that resulted in my near-death experience and the mental, emotional, and spiritual fight it took to heal, were the qualifications for a title I was least proud to have. I couldn’t find what it took within me to acknowledge this particular title among my comelier multi-hyphenates. …
In my last post, I spoke about accessing the massive amount of magic we leave on the table each day: mundane magic. Today, I want to demystify a connected fallacy that was also rampant in my life.
Let’s use a common scenario to explain it. I’m sure you know what it’s like when you want to get in shape, so you’re busy trying to find the next new diet or exercise regime that will finally work and thereby change you once and for all. And while we ALL know that for most, this journey is so frickin’ fundamental — what…
Here’s a truth that motivational speakers may not tell you: those highs they claim you can or should experience 100% of the time is a myth.
99% of life happens in the mundane activities that make up living in the physical realm. Don’t get me wrong though — that other 1% is EVERYTHING! Those big wins, accomplishments, and destinations can send us soaring like the eagles we also are, but for the rest of the time, we’re tortoises 🐢 in a world that screams, “We’re all here to be hares!” 🐇
“Do it faster! Do it better! Do it now…